Things Not to Say to the Mother-of-the-Bride
It's wedding season, so you know what that means? Open bars! Just a word of warning, regardless of how many signature Lavender Vodkas you've downed, don't even try saying any of these following statements to the mother of the bride. No matter how tame they seem at the time, you'll soon bear the wrath of a matriarch upon you - and you don't want that. Because, after all, we all know it's really HER wedding.
#01
I'm so delighted she moved past that "experimental" stage in college.
#02
The groom has certainly regained his mobility since they removed that ankle bracelet.
#03
Man, I'm glad someone finally took her.
#04
I'm so happy to see you here! I honestly thought you'd never forgive your daughter after that streaking incident in college.
#05
Should she really be wearing white?
#06
Let's hope their marriage is happier than yours was!
#07
That's funny, after the incident with the stripper and the balloons last week, I really didn't think the wedding would go through today...
#08
Wow, the groom really has come a long way since we nicknamed him "pus-face."
#09
Frankly, I thought she could climb the social ladder a bit higher, but there's still time.
#10
I always told her, 'If you can't be with the one you love...'
#11
Wow, someone finally bought the cow.
#12
If anything goes wrong, I know a good divorce lawyer.
#13
Does this mean she'll stop dressing as a slutty kitten every Halloween?
#14
You must be so proud. I bet you thought this day would never come.
#15
You know, all of her friends had a betting pool to see who could stand to be with her the longest. None of us ever would have guessed it would be the groom.
#16
Now we have a betting pool going on their divorce. Want to get in on this?
#17
I'm sure it means a lot to her that her beloved grandmother could make it. Wonder where her mom is, though.
#18