Other Things Miley Cyrus Never Intended to Happen
So unless you're a mole-person, you no doubt have heard that Miley Cyrus scandalized the whole entire world ever posing topless for Vanity Fair. Now, even though she originally thought the photo shoot was "artsy," she has since apologized to her fans saying, "I feel so embarrassed. I never intended for any of this to happen." Hear that, Internet? She never intended for any of this to happen!! Of course, there's a lot of things Miley never intended. Here's a short list:
#01
She never intended to make your 10 year old daughter cry when she couldn't buy Hannah Montana concert tickets.
(Such a bargain at hundreds of dollars a piece too!)
#02
Nor, for that matter, did she ever intend for you to spend over four grand on Hannah Montana DVDs, t-shirts, necklaces, lunchboxes, dolls, dog whistles, paperclips, or tractors.
#03
She totally never intended to hide her pop star identity from her closest friends and family.
(It's the premise of Hannah Montana - never mind, we don't watch it either.)
#04
She never intended to hit puberty.
(It totally caught her by surprise.)
#05
She never intended to have the name Destiny Hope.
(No, seriously, that's her real name. Yeah, we can't blame her for getting it changed.)
#06
She never intended to beat Hillary Duff to posing nude.
(Wait, you mean to tell us Hillary still hasn't done it?)
#07
For that matter, she never intended to steal Lindsay Lohan's limelight.
(Sorry, Lindz.)
#08
She never intended to get pregnant.
(Wait, no, she never was pregnant, just kidding! Totally just an Internet rumor that was a complete lie! Ignore the man behind the curtain!)
#09
She never intended to have sexual relations with that woman.
(Trust us, it's coming.)
#10
She never intended to lie about her trip to Bosnia.
(You think it's a joke now, but once your daughter reaches voting age, we're only a few senate terms away from President Cyrus.)
#13
She never intended to be a billionaire by the end of the year.
(She's just lucky like that.)
#14