Phrases That Make You Reply "That's What She Said"


Saying "That's what she said" to absolutely everything is one of life's simple pleasures. Here's a list of phrases that pretty much force you to say it.

#01

While exchanging pleasantries with Gus down at the hardware store, "Mmmmm, it sure is warm, isn't it?"


(The weather, sicko. What is it with small-town chatter?)

#02

While apologizing for offending someone, "I didn't mean to put your nose out of joint!"


(Or did I?)

#03

While playing poorly in a pickup basketball game, "I'm really sucking today."


(Don't fret about missed shots, sport. You have a future in the back of local newspapers.)

#04

While enjoying an apple Jolly Rancher, "Sucking on it intensifies the flavor and makes it last longer."


(Precocious kids have made candy eating into a science!)

#05

While mother and son make cookie dough together, "Billy, you got it all over me! Now I'm all sticky."


(Now go along and read your Oedipus!)

#06

While rallying the employees on a Friday afternoon, "Let's try to bang one out real quick before 5."


(Um, boss? That could be construed as sexual harrassment.)

#07

While getting caught shoplifting, "Sir, can you empty your pockets, please?"


(Witty rejoinders won't get you out of this one.)

#08

While performing "Romeo and Juliet," Sampson says to Gregory, "My naked weapon is out: quarrel, I will back thee."


(If you're playing Gregory, you know your line.)

#09

While commenting on Yao Ming, "You can't teach size."


(No... you can't.)

#10

While being bandged after getting into a scuffle with the local bully, "Want Mommy to kiss it and make it better?"


(Disturbing, I know.)

#11

While visiting Richard Nixon's grave, "Is this Dick?"


(God bless our forefathers.)

#12

While ordering a pint at the pub, "That's a nice, foamy head."


(Wait a second...damnit. It spilled over already?)

#13

When unable to remember something right away, "I've got it right on the tip of my tongue!"


(Which is a good place for it.)

#14

After resolving a serious disagreement, "At least we've put this matter to bed."


(The bed is the best place for an argument to end.)

#15

Directly prior to rushing through lunch, "I'm gonna go wolf something down really fast."


(We've heard of nooners, but this is ridiculous.)

#16

After a long day - filled with mishaps, "All's well that ends well."


(Yes it is.)