Best Ways a Teen Can Take Revenge on an Ex
When your girlfriend or boyfriend dumps you, it's perfectly healthy to feel sad and angry. And as hilarious as it may seem now to post naked pictures of them on MySpace as revenge, it's actually a very bad idea. Take it from Alex Phillips, who fought the law for the right to post naked photos of his ex-girlfriend and ended up in jail on child pornography charges. Yeah, it's a tough world out there for teens with a taste for revenge, but there's no reason you should end up in the pokey like Phillips. Instead of trafficking in lewd photos, there are plenty of low down and dirty ways of getting vengeance on your ex that won't land you on the national registry of sex offenders.
#01
Poke them!
(No, no, no - on Facebook!)
#02
Speaking of Facebook, invite them to join every inane application out there: Harry Potter spells, vibrating hamsters, zombie bites, whatever.
(True. It's horribly annoying, but they might not realize it's revenge since your friends do this to you anyway.)
#03
SeNd ThEm tExTs LiKe ThIs.
(Don't you dare.)
#04
Create a fake MySpace account, have a fake online relationship, then threaten to spread nasty rumors about them at school.
(No, no - wait. This is a bad idea too.)
#05
Living well is the best revenge.
(Yeah, we're not convinced either.)
#06
Key their bike.
(We're assuming they don't have a car.)
#07
Take acting lessons. Become a rich and famous actor. Get on a morning talk show. Tell the host what a horrible person they were.
(It's a lot of work, but the expression on their face will be priceless!)
#08
Put drunk pictures of them up on MySpace.
(Just to be clear: Put drunk pictures of them fully-clothed up on MySpace.)
#09
Use your telekinetic powers during prom to lock the gym and set it on fire.
(What do you mean you don't have telekinetic powers?)
#10
Hold them hostage in your rec room.
(Just kidding! Totally kidding about that one! Ho boy, that's a knee-slapper, all right! No, seriously, don't get any ideas...)
#11
Deliver a gift basket full of sex toys in your ex's name to their parents' house.
(This will both embarass your ex and give his or her parents the best time they've had since their wedding night. Win-win.)
#12
Serve your ex an ice-cream sundae full of laxatives.
(Revenge is a dish best served cold, after all.)
#13
Make up an excuse to visit your ex's house and put dead goldfish under their floorboards.
(Or behind their dresser. Or laundry basket. Or any unlikely place that will be impossible to reach once the rot becomes apparent.)
#14
Ask a friend call up your ex pretending to be a representative from a potential college. Have them ask to meet at a made up address.
(You wasted my time, now I am wasting yours.)
#15
Put some sugar in the gas tank on the last day of school.
(You ain't going nowhere buddy!)
#16
Call your ex's parents during school hours and say he or she sold you their car for $50 dollars.
(You'll be coming to pick it up shortly.)
#17
Sign them up for a year long subscription to the pornographic magazine of your choice.
(It's the gift that keeps on giving!)
#18
Start dating their younger sibling.
(If you can't handle the big guns, go for the little ones.)
#19