Common Phrases That Make the English Majors Inside Us Cringe
You've probably heard these before. Hell, you've probably used a few of them. But that doesn't make them right.
#01
"In close proximity."
(Is this anything like fat obesity?)
#02
"I could care less..."
(Um, if you can care less, that means you still kinda care.)
#03
"Under false pretenses."
(Since pretense already means to "allegedly falsely," does that make a false pretense... true?)
#04
"Mass exodus."
(As opposed to a minor, small-scale exodus, like when I excuse myself from the dinner table if someone uses one of these phrases.)
#05
"Advance warning."
(I like my warnings to arrive late.)
#06
"If I had my druthers..."
(Personally, I'd like to hear from individual druthers before I submit to mob rule.)
#07
"Please list all previous experience."
(Where do I list all my, er, future experience?)
#08
"Proactive."
(Often found on crappy resumes. Not mine, though -- I'm absolutely opposed to being active.)
#09
"False sense of security."
(Technically, the sense of security may be unwarranted, but it's not false. Boy, I really sound like an asshole, don't I?)
#10
"Willful negligence."
(I sorta doubt anybody wakes up and says to himself, "Let's be negligent of all duties and responsibilities today!")
#11
"Unexpected surprise."
(I wish I could see all my surprises coming.)
#12
"Poor thing has a temperature."
(Actually, that "poor" thing is actually quite fortunate. If he doesn't register on the thermometer, that means he's a ghost.)
#13