Online Dating: Because You're Sick of Drinking Alone
Hey, there's no shame in dating online! Have you been out to a bar lately? It's a disaster zone. You're better off in your own home. There are some crazy people out there, and you really shouldn't have to subject yourself to them. Especially when dating online can be safe, often times entertaining, and surprisingly effective.
#01
Adopt personae.
(Decide on what kind of person you want to be. Since you are online, this can be completely different from who you actually are. Of course, if you're serious about finding a "relationship" you should probably stick to the facts... mostly.)
#02
Create a well thought out universal profile of interests/activities that can easily be uploaded onto multiple dating sites.
(Examples of things not to put include: your ability to sing the entire Madonna catalog in Latin, your penchant for knife throwing, and your Pants Off Dance Off fetish.)
#03
Edit your list. Maybe get a second opinion from a trusted friend that you are, in fact, coming off as an attractive human being.
#04
Now that you have your profile all ready to go, it's time to explore dating sites to see which one is for you. Match.com, JDate, or maybe eHarmony? The list goes on, and you need to do your research in order to make an informed decision. This could be your potential spouse, or at least a companion for the movies Friday night.
#05
Once you've chosen a dating site (or three), load up your information.
#06
Oh, we almost forgot! You have to choose a naturally flattering/photo-shopped picture of yourself to load with your info.
(Avoid the indulgence of a professional photo shoot. Everyone knows you don't really look like that, and no - they won't believe you when you claim you just happen to have them because you used to be a model.)
#07
Once your profiles are all set up, and you're registered it's time to go exploring. Search people's profiles and pick a few to message. We suggest not messaging everyone who looks appealing because you don't want to be overloaded with responses. Seriously, pick quality over quantity.
(We're not kidding. You are not The Bachelor. This is not the time to start pretending like you are.)
#08
Once you start receiving messages, choose a few to correspond with. The few people with whom you manage to keep a steady flirtation via messaging, you may want to meet in person.
#09
Before you meet these people, you should do a background check, no matter how normal they seem. It's fast, easy, and could save you a lot trouble and possibly money (Klepto?!?!). If everything checks out, then proceed, but with caution! Choose a public place to meet up, and have an escape plan ready if they turn out to be psychotic.
#10