Things You Should Never Hire People to Do For You
#01
Change the television channel.
#02
#03
Go on dates.
#04
Roll out a red carpet every time you enter and leave your home.
(Clearly something you should be doing for yourself.)
#05
Go to interviews.
#06
Hold your cup while you drink from a long twisty straw.
(Unless you're too drunk to do it yourself. That's different.)
#07
Pick and lay out your clothes for the next day.
(We wish our parents would have done this for us, but instead they let us look like homeless people for the first 11 years of our lives. If we can figure it out, you can figure it out too, ok? Ok.)
#08
Hug your children.
#09
Give birth to your children.
(Didn't you hear? Adoption is cool now.)
#10
Carry you from room to room in your house.
#11
Sign important paperwork.
#12
Slay a dragon.
(This should really go without saying.)
#13
Be your best friend.
(Britney Spears, we're talking to you.)
#14
Pick out anniversary gifts.
(You may get away with this once or twice, but unless you're Hugh Hefner, don't even think about doing it on a regular basis.)
#15