Most Ridiculous New Year's Resolutions


#01

Patent your brilliant idea for the "Knork," hybrid of a knife and a fork.


#02

Make your own bread.


#03

Become centered through mediation.


#04

Find a word that rhymes with "orange."

#05

Lick a tootsie pop to the center.


(You will most definitely get frustrated and bite it. Who's got that kind of time?)

#06

Visit a parallel universe.

#07

Volunteer for a good cause.

#08

Lose weight.

#09

Break up with your deadbeat boyfriend.


(His band is never getting signed.)

#10

Save money.

#11

Find people from high school.


(Haha. That's a good one.)

#12

Catch up on your correspondence.

#13

Breed a new dog.

#14

Convince your girlfriend that your beautiful co-worker, whom you go drink with, is just a friend.