Least Favorite Things About Summer
Everyone loves the summer. It's a time of warmth and bounty, of peaches and popsicles. Even if you live in a place where summer weather is around 365 days a year, there's just something special about that day in June when the calendar announces that summer has finally arrived. But not everything about summer is great, which is why we've written this list of things we personally dislike about the summertime:
#01
Pool parties.
(Great until some kid chips his tooth on the diving board and everyone gets yelled at by his mother.)
#02
Summer vacation.
(Jeez, where did all these kids come from?)
#03
Movies.
(If it's released in summer, you can sure that it has a huge budget and no script.)
#04
Pie-eating contests.
(It's all fun and games until somebody pukes strawberry funnel cake into the cherry filling.)
#05
Sleep-Away Camp.
(The stench of teenage humiliation drifts across Lake Wannakickacounselor.)
#06
Lemonade stands on every corner.
(Aren't you a little young to be hustling for change?)
#07
Tourists.
(Give us all your lovely money then stop clogging up the road to the coast.)
#08
Going to work.
(Screw this job, let's go to the beach!)
#09
Outdoor music festivals sponsored by Pepsi Cola.
($10 bottle of water, anyone?)
#10
County fairs.
(Do they have to smell like animals?)
#11