Excuses for Not Giving Your Number


We've all been there before. The bar, the club, Quiznos, whatever. Some creepy guy/girl approaches you and you know what's coming. The awkward small talk ensues, followed by the inevitable inquiry for your number. You obviously can't give your digits out to this heavy-breathing creeper, so you lie. You lie like it's the absolute truth. However, don't be totally obvious that you think they're gross; that's just rude. Here are some commonly used excuses to avoid:

#01

You're dying.


#02

You're moving to another country tomorrow.


#03

Washing your hair.


(Rinse and REPEAT, no time for the phone.)

#04

You have a needy gecko waiting at home.


(He needs more than just his heat rock.)

#05

Your parents are really strict.


("Do I live with them? Oh God no. They're just really strict.")

#06

No clean clothes... ever.

#07

Against your religious beliefs.


(No can argue with this one.)

#08

You live in a place with no phones.


(Canada? We never hear from them.)

#09

You're more of an animal lover…


#10

The CIA won’t let you.


#11

Herpes.