How to Raise Your Diamond Ranking With the Emperor's Club
So New York Governor Eliot Spitzer got taken down for his link with the Emperor's Club prostitution ring that ranked its ladies using a scale of diamonds. Well, if you're one of the unfortunate 3 diamond gals who makes a pitiful $1,000 an hour, consider this list of tips to make yourself a 7 diamond girl and net yourself $5500 an hour or so.
#01
Bring your own chocolate sauce.
(Organic and free range, obviously.)
#02
Crystal accessories.
(Interpret that however you like.)
#03
Nail that Moulin Rouge routine.
(Yes, it's dated, but so are your clients.)
#04
Designer lingerie.
(Like they say, undress for the job you want.)
#05
Refer a friend.
(You'll also get a Starbucks gift certificate!)
#06
Bring a friend.
(Surprise!)
#07
Eliminate garlic and onions from your diet.
(Entirely.)
#08
Hit the gym.
(Or the doctor's office.)
#09
Delete your Myspace and Facebook profile.
(This goes for pretty much anyone looking to be promoted, or get a job... period.)
#10