Awkward Attempts at Political Pandering


Politicians will do just about anything to appeal to the coveted "small town vote." And, more often than not, they'll look ridiculous and awkward doing it.

#01

Hillary chugs a beer and throws back a whiskey shot.


(Except it was Coors Light, and she sipped the shot. I bet it was really a fine aged brandy, too. Elitist!)

#02

Daddy Bush throws out the first pitch like a 9-year old girl.


(Wait, wasn't he a pitcher in college? Oh yeah, it was at Yale. Nevermind.)

#03

Obama rides a John Deere tractor.


(We love you, Barack, but c'mon. A tractor? How blatant can you get?)

#04

Mitt Romney appeals to black voters by saying, "Who let the dogs out? HOO-HOO!" while surrounded by dozens of black people.


(Good try, but you're five years too late and fifty shades too white for this to work, Mitt.)

#05

Mitt Romney, that same day, observes that a black infant has "bling-bling" and "is Michael Jordan."


(You've really honed in on what appeals to black people: basketball and latent racism.)

#06

Hillary's fabricated ties to nearly every state on the campaign trail.


(You're a Pennsylvania duck hunter and want to have a debate on the back of an Indiana flatbed truck. What's next, a bar fight in North Carolina?)

#07

Bill Clinton starting the Daytona 500 with "Start your engines!" and being drowned out by the beer-swilling rednecks chanting "Bush!"


(Bill didn't care, though. He had his eye on a sweet little honey doll in Daisy Dukes and hair rollers up in the stands.)

#08

Larry Craig's wide stance.


(He merely wanted to appeal to blue-collar males by having sex with them in airport bathrooms.)

#09

Hillary adopts a southern rural accent while speaking to southern black voters.


(Maybe if the accent was actually good, she'd get a pass. But she sounded like a seventh grade teacher reading from "To Kill A Mockingbird" and doing all the voices.)

#10

McCain, summoning the Beach Boys' "Barbara Ann," sings, "Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran."


(An appeal to those voters who remember simpler times: fast cars, good tunes, and napalm bombs being dropped on civilian villages.)

By Erik C.