Other Reasons to Arrest Students at Prom
Marche Taylor got arrested at her senior prom for wearing a skimpy prom dress that exposed her midriff. Well, it's about time! We're sick of high school kids thinking they're adults just because they're 18. It's ridiculous. We hope every high school in nation follows Madison High's lead and cracks down on these seniors gone wild. Today, it's exposed midriffs, tomorrow it's Babylon. To prevent the impending collapse of civilization, we hope school districts also keep an eye out for any of the following infractions.
#01
Dancing.
(Obviously.)
#02
Dance routines.
(Sure, they could be moves from MTV - or they could be gang signs. Take no chances.)
#03
Public Displays of Affection.
(We don't care what that prom photographer told you to do - it was inappropriate.)
#04
Violating the theme.
(No, no, last year was "Time to Remember." This year is "Dreams for Tomorrow." You have the right to remain silent...)
#05
Being young and cute and coy.
(That's reason enough to put anyone in handcuffs, frankly.)
#06
Bringing flowers.
(Some of our students have severe allergies, so this would be attempted manslaughter.)
#07
Wearing a crown unless you're the prom king or queen.
(Are you instigating a peasant uprising?)
#08
Song requests.
(You'll dance to what we tell you to dance to, dammit.)
#09
Song requests for Fergie.
(Actually, all sarcasm aside, we totally support any prom that enforces this.)
#10