Ways Our Alien Overlords Have Failed to Get Our Attention
A new crop circle was discovered near Barbury Castle in England recently and has been described as the most "complex" crop circle to date, since it graphically represents the first 10 digits of pi. Man! You've got to hand it to our alien overlords. They are trying so hard to get our attention - and still we dismiss their painstaking labor as merely the work of bored hillbillies (or whatever). Oh well, nothing new. They've been trying to get our attention for centuries. Here's a list of their other failed attempts.
#01
UFO Sightings
(It's not that drunken rednecks - and Dennis Kucinich - are the only ones who have seen them, they're just the only ones that noticed!)
#02
Pyramids
(Sure, enslaved Egyptians made them. That makes a lot of sense.)
#03
Alf
(He had primetime TV coverage and everything!)
#04
Phosphenes
(You know those colors you see when you close your eyes? That's totally them!)
#05
The voices in your head that tell you to do bad things to your co-workers
(What do you mean you don't hear them?)
#06
George W. Bush
(You don't think the American public would be that stupid to elect this guy (twice), do you?)
#07
Hale-Bopp
(Well, at least 38 of us figured it out that time.)
#08
Hawaiian Punch
(No, it's not exactly their most obvious sign. But, dude, have you tasted Hawaiian Punch lately? It's so weird...)
#09
Stonehenge
(Yeah, it seems like it's just a pagan structure to measure the equinoxes and solstices - because that's exactly what they want you to think!)
#10
Global Warming
(Call it the Slow Burn realization.)
#11
Walking on water
(Also, turning water into wine, et al.)
#12
Tom Cruise
(And unlike all the other attempts, Tom Cruise is upfront about it - and we still don't listen.)
#13
Our Lady of Fatima
(This was the coolest attempt ever: a holographic lady in the sky! But what did we do? We made it into boring ol' religion.)
#14